Dancing for Dunces
by ezmodo
Summary: Who could foil Weiss' plans to create a magical evening for her friends? Just the two dorks she was trying to help in the first place. Weiss POV Lancaster with a dash of Bumbleby. Crossposted from Tumblr.


Surveying the room from her seat, Weiss was genuinely impressed with Atlas Academy's school dance. The hall was spacious, the music tasteful, the food and drink more refined than she expected from a military school. Even the decorations were adequate, lack of doilies notwithstanding. There was one glaring issue, however.

"I'm going to kill that dolt."

"Which dolt is that, Weiss?" Yang asked from across the table, her knowing grin adding to Weiss' mounting frustrations.

"Her. Him. _Them!_" she fumed, angrily whipping her hand towards the two sources of her irritation.

On the far side of the room stood Ruby Rose and Jaune Arc, hiding behind the punchbowl.

Weiss didn't think her friends appreciated just how much work went into setting this up for them. She didn't organize the academy's social, no, but she did everything else in her power to make the night memorable for her team, some of which required some uncomfortable visits home. Her team didn't have clothes suitable for a dance and she wasn't about to let them wear borrowed formal military uniforms for the occasion. But with thankfully just one promised appearance at a future function of her father's choosing, Weiss had access to the Schnee wardrobe and, most importantly of all, Klein.

She gave Yang and Blake free rein and naturally they went for matching ensembles. Yang chose a surprisingly modest black gown that went down past her knee while Blake chose a rather risqué halter dress, a stunning yellow piece that showed more than Weiss wanted to see from her teammate outside of a changing room. Yang certainly appreciated it though, loud and often. Weiss was happy for her friends, she really was, but couldn't they show _some_ restraint? Ruby's mock gagging every time they started up mirrored Weiss' thoughts on the matter. No one wanted to see their family acting like that. Just imagining Winter in such a scenario was enough to cause the bile to rise to the back of her throat.

For Ruby, Weiss had to take direct control. Left to her own devices, Ruby would have shown up in her hood and combat boots. Or, more likely, not shown up at all and stayed in her room to play video games instead. Which wasn't an option, naturally. Ruby would have a magical evening even if Weiss had to drag her kicking and screaming into it.

Weiss chose for her a simple off-the-shoulder dress, a deep red to match her hair. The bodice had a tasteful bustline and the skirt was suitably "poofy", to use Ruby's vernacular, for her partner's tastes. A silver hairpin kept her hair neat and out of her eyes. Weiss had wanted to include a stole as well for Ruby to wrap about her shoulders, to round out the look and provide her partner with the bit of comfort that she knew losing her hood would cost her, but Nora had fought her on it. _Let those puppies breathe,_ Nora had argued. Weiss was scandalized, but Nora insisted she just meant her shoulders.

New knowledge of Jaune's possible..._proclivities_ made Weiss consider adding a heavy winter coat to all of her outfits.

She left Jaune himself in the care of his teammates and Klein. Nora aside, she could trust the two men to smooth out the rough edges of the moronic knight into something presentable. She had only two instructions for them. One – do something, _anything_, with that disaster he called hair; and two – pin a red rose to his breast. They had settled on a simple tuxedo and bowtie, the only color coming from the lovely red rose standing out proudly on his chest.

As she watched Ruby and Jaune gawk at each other when they first met before the dance, Weiss just _knew_ the night was going to be a rousing success.

_This is an unmitigated disaster…_ Weiss thought sourly as she watched her partner take a drink from the _same empty glass_ for the fifth time in the last ten minutes.

The night had started so promisingly. She was initially worried that they'd be too flustered to talk, too dazzled by her and Klein's perfect makeovers, but a timely joke from Yang snapped Ruby and Jaune out of their respective stupors long enough to bring back their usual dynamic. The group made their way to the hall and quickly secured a table and the two dunces actually tried to sit _separately _before she and Nora boxed them in. Was Jaune too stunned by Ruby's elegant beauty? Was Ruby put off kilter by Jaune managing to look almost halfway dashing? A dinner full of quick peeks and long sideways stares confirmed the theory in Weiss' mind.

As soon as dinner was cleared away Nora leapt to her feet, grabbed both Ren and Oscar by the collars, and dragged them away shouting that "this was happening". Yang and Blake followed, telling the remaining three that they'd save them a spot on the dance floor.

This was it. Jaune would offer a hand to Ruby, which she'd accept demurely, and off they'd go to share a magical evening that they both thoroughly deserved. At least until Jaune mumbled something about dancing "requiring proper hydration" as he fled from the table. Ruby was quick to follow, offering her own squeaky excuse before stumbling along after him, faster than Weiss had ever seen the girl move in heels. They'd been at the punchbowl ever since.

Face in her hands, Weiss finally realized the fatal flaw in her plan. She wasn't dealing with normal, sane people. She was dealing with Ruby Rose and Jaune Arc, the two biggest dorks to ever come out of Beacon Academy. Weiss had so graciously presented them with the best night of their lives, so easy to grasp that they could practically fall into it, and they had made it awkward.

They'd even spoiled the hard work she and Klein put into their appearance. Ruby had taken the hairpin out at some point and now half her face was hidden behind her red fringe. Jaune's own hair had transformed back into its usual messy mop from the boy constantly running his hand through it while his bowtie hung loose and crooked from constant tugging.

"Why are they being so difficult?" Weiss groused, glaring at the pair across the room. "You're at a dance. _Dance_."

"Chill out, kettle," Yang joked, earning an icy glare from the heiress.

Yang laughed uneasily before adding, "You know Ruby's not into stuff like that, right? Maybe she doesn't want to dance."

"Nonsense," Weiss scoffed. "Every girl wants to dance with the person they like."

"They certainly do."

Blake snuck up behind Yang and ran a hand down the girl's arm as she joined her partner at the table. Weiss fought the urge to roll her eyes. _These two…_

Yang grinned dopily at Blake before turning back to Weiss. "What's the big deal anyway? They're having fun."

She'd allow that. Even from across the room she would occasionally hear one of the two laughing, Jaune with his heaving guffaws and Ruby with her high pitched cackling. They'd occasionally bump hips or elbows with each other, starting an impromptu "fight" that would end with them standing just a bit closer than before.

It was cute. It was endearing. It made Weiss grind her teeth in frustration. They were so damned _close_ but neither would take the first step.

"How goes the mission, Ice Queen?"

Nora announced herself loudly, Neon in tow, as they joined the group at the table. Neon sat to Yang's left while Nora joined Weiss opposite them.

"Where's Ren?" Blake asked. It was strange to see Nora without the boy, especially on a night like this.

Nora harrumphed as she crossed her arms. "He took over Oscar's dancing lessons. Apparently I was going to 'break him' and 'scar him for life,'" punctuating each complaint with air quotes.

Weiss looked back to the dancefloor and sure enough, Oscar and Ren were moving back and forth in a simple waltz. Oscar's face burned red from embarrassment while Ren, unflappable as always, quietly offered direction as he allowed Oscar to lead him around the floor.

"Mission?" Neon asked, leaning eagerly across the table. "What mission?"

Weiss simply hooked a thumb towards the pair across the hall.

Yang explained. "Weiss wants my sister and Jaune to share a magical evening full of dancing and awkward se-"

Yang just managed to keep her seat as Weiss' glyph rocked her chair back dangerously.

Neon laughed as she watched the two leaders chatting at the punchbowl. "They both the shy type or what?"

"Shy and awkward and _dumb_," Weiss growled.

"Then just give them a little push," Neon offered with a shrug. "Spin the bottle, seven minutes in heaven, recreational dru- I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" Neon jumped out of her chair, hands raised defensively as Weiss rose threateningly to her feet.

"I've got it!" Nora exclaimed. Jumping to her feet, she dragged both Neon and Yang into an improvised huddle as they whispered.

After a minute of excited conspiring, the three girls all raised their heads in confidence with a unified nod.

"Got any hot friends to do the job?" Yang asked, grinning up at Neon.

"Babe," Neon said, wrapping an arm around Yang's shoulder and pulling her into a friendly side hug, "_all_ my friends are hot."

Yang was oblivious, but Weiss didn't miss the angry twitch of Blake's ears.

Luckily, Neon practically hopped away before a cat fight (literally in this case, Weiss supposed) could break out with a happy "leave it to me!" before disappearing into the throng of dancers.

"What are you two scheming?" Weiss asked suspiciously.

"Simple, Weissy. The quickest way to get a huntress to pounce is for another huntress to threaten her prey," Nora stated matter-of-factly.

Before she could puzzle that one out, Weiss noticed a girl approach their table. Tall with long brown hair, rather _ridiculous_ curves, and a dress that made Blake's look modest, the girl looked more like a model than a huntress.

"Hey," she greeted the group. "Neon sent me. Apparently there's a hunk looking for a dance?"

"Yup! Tall blond dude by the drinks," Yang said, pointing discreetly towards Jaune. "Can't miss him."

The girl nodded and made her way towards the leaders. She stopped briefly, adjusting her dress in ways that showed even _more_ skin, and sashayed her way towards Jaune.

Weiss sputtered. _This_ was their master plan? To have some...some _hussy_ steal the target of her partner's affections right in front of her? Unacceptable. She made to stand but was grabbed instantly by Nora, who pulled her back to her seat.

"Have some faith, Weiss. You'll see," Nora said with a pat on her back.

She watched the seductress approach the table where Ruby had just told some joke that had Jaune wiping a tear from his eye. The girl centered herself, cocked her hip, and made a show of clearing her throat. The leaders looked to their new arrival and simultaneously froze, probably when the harpy asked him for a dance. Weiss' hands clenched into fists, nails digging into her palm as she watched some stranger break her best friend's heart.

Until Jaune's head suddenly snapped to Ruby, surprise evident on his face even from a distance. His gaze slowly shifted down and that's when Weiss noticed – Ruby's hand had found his. Ruby offered some hurried excuse and promptly started dragging Jaune after her out towards the dancefloor. The brunette sent to steal Jaune turned towards their table with a thumbs up raised high which both Yang and Nora returned with gusto.

_I can't believe that actually worked, _Weiss thought as her eyes followed the pair squeezing by other couples out on the floor.

"All's well that ends well," Nora chirped happily. "'Bout time I go find _my_ man."

"Ayup. Sis won't let anyone take her sweets." Yang stood, offering a hand to Blake. "Up for another dance, kitten?"

Blake rolled her eyes but couldn't hide her blush as she took her partner's hand.

Weiss stood as well, straightening out her dress. _I suppose I should get a dance in as well. Maybe Nora will let me borrow Ren for a song…_

She turned towards the dancefloor and froze when she saw Ruby pinching her nose.

_Did that idiot Jaune seriously…?_

A goofy grin broke out on Ruby's face as she raised her free hand and pantomimed sinking to the floor, wiggling all the way.

"The swim huh? Talk about a blast from the past," Yang laughed.

Jaune looked like he was trying to knee himself in the chest as he ran in place.

"Ooo! Count me in!" Nora shouted, brushing past Weiss on her way to the dancefloor.

Weiss buried her face in her hands and let out a long suffering sigh.

_Idiots. I'm surrounded by idiots._

This wasn't romantic. This wasn't magical. This was tomfoolery.

Dragging her hands down her face, Weiss finally noticed her partner smiling at her. With an exaggerated wave, Ruby beckoned her to join them.

They were _her_ idiots at least.


End file.
